So, you've established who's going to be in your bridal party - that's great - and they'll all have specific jobs and obligations to fulfill. Here's a rundown of who does what.
Ladies First
Your maid of honor (matron of honor, if she's married) is the key bridesmaid. She signs your marriage license as a witness, and offers the most help as you plan the wedding. It's her job to coordinate dress fittings, take charge of bridal shower and bachelorette party plans and keep the other bridesmaids in the wedding loop. On the day of the wedding. she will help you dress, arrange your veil and train during the processional and recessional and hold your bouquet during the ceremony. Your bridesmaids help you with tasks like addressing invitations and will help plan the shower and bachelorette party (and contribute to the cost). The maid/matron of honor and all bridesmaids pay for the own attire, as well as transportation and lodging if they travel to the wedding from elsewhere.
Hey, You Guys!
Just like the maid of honor, the best man signs your marriage license as a witness. In addition, he brings the wedding rings to the ceremony and holds the officiant's fee until after the ceremony. Other tasks: coordinating the groomsmen's formal wear fittings, organizing the bachelor party and delivering the first toast at the reception. The groomsmen, also known as ushers, assist the best man in planning and hosting the bachelor party (and help finance it). Groomsmen greet and seat the guests on the wedding day. They pay for their own attire, and are responsible for being fitted for and picking up their clothing from the formal wear shop. As well, they pay for their own travel and lodging expense.
Children's Hour
The flower girl (between the ages of 4 and 8) walks ahead of you during the processional, usually scattering flower petals along the way or simply carrying a pretty bouquet or basket. The ring bearer (also between the ages of 4 and 8) walks down the aisle either alongside the flower girl or right before her, carrying the ring pillow with two wedding bands tied to it (most couples use fake ones lest the little guy lose them). The parents of the flower girl and ring bearer are expected to pay for their attire and are invited to attend the rehearsal dinner.
Tween Scene
A girl between the ages of 9 and 13 is often considered too old to be a flower girl, so she is typically known as a junior bridesmaid. On the wedding day, she wears a dress that's usually more demure than those the adult bridesmaids wear, in the same color and fabric. Her male counterpart is a junior groomsman or junior user (he wears a tuxedo). These "tweens" neither attend the bachelor/bachelorette party nor are they held to the same financial obligations (though their parents will be).
You Have Duties Too
Don't forget your responsibilities to this fantastic team.
- Be flexible. If most of your bridesmaids don't love their dress, consider another style or color.
- Be sensitive about the time commitment your bridal party is making. Decide on dates for showers and parties as soon as possible so they can clear their schedules.
- Be budget-conscious. Don't assume that everyone can afford a bachelor/bachelorette party in Las Vegas, a $300 outfit or pricey spa treatments on the day of the wedding. Also, expect that you won't receive expensive gifts from them - after all, look how much they're already spending on the big day.
- Be a good sport! Let them embarrass and tease you a little. They know your limits, so just go with the flow.
- Be grateful - extremely grateful. Honor them in the ceremony program, tell a member of the staff to pay special attention to them at the reception and give them a fabulous thank-you gift with a heartfelt, handwritten note.