Bon Appetit!

From Bridal Guide Sept/Oct 2010


     You know the saying, "You are what you eat"? Well, when it comes to weddings, you are what you serve. We know you're hungry for fresh ideas, so we asked leading chefs and caterers for their big-day advice.

Choosing a Caterer
     As with any vendor, it's helpful wot get word-of-mouth recommendations. But just because your aunt loves a local caterer doesn't mean that person will suit your taste. It's all about finding a good partnership-someone who possesses the underlying qualities you're seeking, says Olivier Cheng, owner of Olivier Cheng Catering and Events in NYC. That could mean a chef who is service-driven, uses only organic foodstuffs or specializes in a certain type of cuisine. Peter Callahan of NYC's Callahan Catering agrees: "Everyone has things they are good at and like to do. You want a caterer who likes to do what you are looking for."

When and How
     Start your search six to nine months out. Many caterers post sample menus on their websites, which you can browse to get a sense of their culinary style. Reputable companies should offer a complimentary tasting. "If a caterer charges for a tasting, that to me would be a red flag," says Lisa Dupar of Lisa Dupar Catering in Seattle. "I compare it to test-driving a car. You want to get the feel of it before you spring for it."

Rules of the Table
     First and foremost, feature foods you love. "I always ask clients, 'What would your last meal on earth be?" says Rolando Mafnas, catering director at San Francisco's Betty Zlatchin Catering. "Not that we'll necessarily serve those exact things, but we can incorporate some of them into the event." Share your favorite cuisines and restaurants with your caterer as well as anything you strongly dislike. And consider a few general ground rules: Stay away from garlic, onion, heavy spices and stringy greens that stick in teeth, as well as thin fish or meats like veal that are difficult to cook for large numbers.

Budget Matters
     Brian Kiefer, a senior sales consultant at Chicago-based caterer Food for Thought, recommends setting a food and beverage budget in advance of the tasting, to help direct the chef. Also, be aware that businesses vary in how they quote pricing. Mafnas says, "A lot of companies start low on the spectrum and then - when you choose to work with them - tack on all the necessary items, so your budget spirals out of control." When comparing costs, be sure to ask what's included in an estimate. Does it cover labor (servers, bartenders), rentals (china, flatware, glasses, linens) and service charges (taxes, gratuities), or just the menu? Make sure your contract contains a detailed, line-itemed proposal.

Food and Service
     The next step is deciding on the food and its presentation.
    
     The Sit-Down Meal. This provides a focused dining experience. "Any item can be plated more artistically on an individual scale," notes Eric Fenster, co-founder of Back to Earth Organic Catering in San Francisco. "Everyone gets that piece of art in front of them." It also dictates a level of formality. "I recommend it for the bride and groom looking for a traditional fairytale wedding," says Mary Giuliani of NYC's Mary Giuliani Catering & Events. To reduce costs, don't offer a choice of entrees or ask for the selection in advance - taking an order at the table requires that the kitchen have 80% of each item available. And you really don't need more than two or three courses, according to Mafnas.
     Menu Suggestions: A sit-down dinner gives chefs the most freedom to experiment with complex cooking techniques and presentations. Cheng may start with a sweet pea and tarragon soup, followed by wild striped bass en papillote with fingerling potatoes and truffle butter, or a rack of lamb with sweet onion soubise. Callahan likes to serve crispy cod in a chervil sauce, with shaved asparagus and a carrot puree. Although restaurant-style sophistication is one approach, "You don't need caviar to be classy," says Giuliani. "I had a bride insist on serving tomato soup and grilled cheese for a first course and the guests loved it!" For another couple that met in New Orleans, she served po' boys with tasting-sized hurricanes, a popular local cocktail.

     The Buffet. These are best for partying crowds that might get restless confined to their chairs. But even so, consider plating the first course and setting the tables with china to eliminate those unappealing piles of plates beside the food display.
     Menu Suggestions: Callahan recommends offering beef, poultry and seafood items as main-course choices (his favorites are flat-iron steak, lemon chicken and lobster), along with some starches and veggies. Fenster points out that pastas and grain dishes (lasagna, risotto) are ideal for a buffet spread or shared sides.

     Stations. This means offering a mix of small plates, sometimes prepared by chefs on the spot. Stations allow for greater variety and customization - but this often comes at a higher price than the more budget-friendly buffet.
     Menu Suggestions: You could have a sushi chef prepare made-to-order rolls or offer a customized ceviche, dim sum, crepe or taco bar. Kiefer takes a cue from Spanish tapas creating highly composed small plates, such as braised cage-free chicken with cornmeal gnocchi or pork belly and radish chips over an Asian slaw.

     Family Style
     Menu Suggestions: Dupar recommends open-faced ravioli with fresh corn, sweet peas and smoked ricotta. Callahan likes short-rib burgers with zucchini frites, or shrimp, avocado and mango spring rolls with snow peas julienne: "We serve them on hip acrylic plates, so the food has a chic appetizer feel to it, while being big enough for dinner."

     The Cocktail Hour/Cocktail Party. Another trend is what Giuliani calls an "all-passed" wedding, which means that hors d'oeuvres are circulated on trays throughout the night. Of course, comfort foods are always crowd-pleasers. ("Everyone loves pigs-in-a-blanket," says Giuliani. "Don't fight it!") Cheng notes that "you can be a lot more eclectic with cocktail fare. A sit-down dinner has to have continuity, but with passed appetizers you can offer both hamachi tacos and croque-monsieurs." Dupar adds, "We can credit the Food Network for people letting go and having more fun with food. For hors d'oeuvres, I like Dungeness crab cakes with remoulade, and ricotta gnocchi with bolognese and shaved pecorino." Fenster suggests endive cups with strawberries, chevre and candied nuts; tartlets filled with squash, cheese and herbs; and seared risotto cakes. At Food for Thought, signature amuse-bouches include Brie and pear quesadillas with maple salsa, and lobster "push-ups" (mousseline in a sliding plastic vessel like the popsicles with the same  name). Callahan Catering offers inventive creations, such as their "beef and beer": steak carpaccio paired with mini mugs of Guinness. For formal fetes, Mafnas gives mini foods an upscale twist - think tater tots stuffed with fontina and wrapped in prosciutto. If the party goes into the wee hours, Giuliani recommends passing bite-sized breakfast items, like mini bagels with scrambled eggs and mini pancakes.

 Region and Season
     Because fresh ingredients always taste best, many caterers get inspired by the wedding locale and encourage regional specialties (wild salmon in the Pacific Northwest; steak in Texas). But remember that while a fish and vegetarian option would suit a crowd from either coast, beef is a safer bet for Midwesterners. Above all, experts advise going with what's seasonal. "No chocolate-dipped strawberries in December!" says Dupar.

     Fall and Winter. Go for rich dishes like braised peach chutney beef short ribs or rosemary chicken with squash; for vegetarians, consider a mascarpone polenta or veggie paella.

     Spring and Summer. Dupar suggests serving Alaskan halibut on coconut cilantro rice with watermelon salsa. Cheng says, "In summer go for color, like gazpacho with avocado salad." For a July reception, Kiefer developed a chilled menu: cold morel mushroom ravioli with tomato salad, a chilled tenderloin entree, and a trio of refreshing desserts.

Delicious Drinks
     Sparkling cocktails set a celebratory tone, and adding seasonal fruits - like peach or pomegranate - shakes up a classic champagne royale. Or consider a specialty spirit station, like a margarita or bourbon bar. For signature drinks, artisanal mixers (juices freshly pressed or pureed on the premises) are hot, as are vintage concoctions. "We're seeing a swing back to the Fifties and Sixties - Manhattans and Rob Roys - maybe from the Mad Men series," says Kiefer. Giuliani suggests an "all-white bar," with prosecco, pinot grigio and a vodka cocktail. "It's chic and saves money," she says.

     Desserts and Alternatives. An ice-cream truck, a make-your-own macaroon bar or a camp-style  s'mores pit adds an element of surprise without undermining the wedding cake. "It's a conversation piece," says Amy Atlas, a NYC event designer known for her elaborate tables of treats. Some couples have a dessert reception featuring a never-ending stream of sweets. If you're more into pancakes than cupcakes, a brunch reception might be up your alley. Whatever you do, just be sure it suits your taste!
    

Choosing Your Hues

Taken from Bridal Guide Sept/Oct 2010


     Ever since you announced your engagement, you've probably been repeatedly asked this question: "What is your color scheme?" It is important, and it's also one of the first questions I ask when I meet a bride. Color is actually an extension of you, as a bride, and the hues you choose will affect everything - from the ink and paper choices of your invitations to your bridesmaids' dresses to your bouquets and floral centerpieces to your tablecloths, your specialty cocktails and even your favors. and oh, yes, the cake!
     OMG! This is a huge decision. So let's step back a minute and think about color in everyday life. Color can create a mood and affect the energy of a space. When you paint a room in your home the choice of color will evoke a feeling. Yellow is happy and exciting, and it makes me think of the morning sun, so I love it for a kitchen. Red is associated with passion and adventure, while blue is calming and peaceful. In my home everything is splashed with color - from a red kitchen to a purple bedroom, and everything in between. for some people that may be too much, but for me different colors create different experiences - and isn't that what life is all about?
     So color is a very personal choice, but when I ask brides about their color schemes, most tell me that they want all white or shades of pink. Now these are safe, but less daring than I'd like. My advice is, add personality - your personality - by choosing a splash of color. Together, consider your favorite colors as well as your season and style. What do certain colors mean to each of you? (The pink of the peonies in your mom's spring garden? The blue of the summer sky at the beach?) Now purchase inexpensive paints, brushes and paper and start splattering, Be a little crazy, a little Jackson Pollack! Or pick up paint chips at your local home improvement store, and play with different combinations. You might be surprised by what you both like.

Shades of the Seasons
     I try to avoid color schemes that are too predictable. For example, a fall wedding that's orange and brown makes me think of Halloween and pumpkins. "Harvest" colors are too cliched; you don't want your wedding to be too "themey." Instead, consider taupe or burgundy with cooper and a hint of lavender. Fall is perfect for being fashion forward with unique colors.
     Spring: Spring colors are usually all about pastels, but change it up a bit by adding deep splashes of plum or coral.
     Summer: Go for bold yellows, purples, reds and blues. Or select different shades of a color: Coral, salmon and a deep burnt orange would be stunning.
     Winter: All-white is gorgeous, but add a splash of lavender for warmth. Or go for a metallic, like pewter, silver, copper, bronze or gold, for depth and richness.

     Your wedding is a blank canvas just waiting for you to paint it in your special colors. Have fun creating a masterpiece!

     David Tutera's Rule of Thumb: Color is fabulous, but don't overdo it. For an elegant, stylish look, choose no more than three or four hues. After all, it's your wedding - not a circus!

Spring Fling

Taken from Bridal Guide March/April 2011


     We all get so overwhelmed with our frantic lives: rushing to school, to work, to meetings and trying to see family and friends. There's never enough time for everything. And now that you're engaged (congratulations), you somehow have to find time to plan a wedding! Yes, it's a lot - how will you do it? First, try something that I have learned to do: Stop and breathe. And when you do that, smell the roses!
     And speaking of roses, all you brides planning a springtime wedding are so lucky, because it truly is the season when you can stop and breathe and smell the flowers all day long. Spring reminds me of everything coming to life, the arrival of Easter (not to mention my own April birthday). Flowers are where it all began for me. As a child, I worked in my grandfather's flower shop, and from the very beginning I was mesmerized. My Pop-Pop taught me the names of the flowers, how to prep them, how to purchase and design them and later how to do weddings. So flowers remind me of my grandfather, which always brings me joy, and I love to see how flowers bring so much joy to brides.

Your Paper Trail. For your invitations and other printed materials, choose springtime hues. Whether you're planning a garden fete or an indoor loft reception, consider using ribbons and floral design accents in your invites.

Your Fashion Look. If you love drama, you can choose a ballgown accented with a floral motif; if understated is more your style. consider a gown with a floral design woven into the bodice trim and hem, or perhaps one with florets that start at the sweetheart neckline and are then scattered all the way down to the hem. For spring I love to see bridesmaids in long, flowering chiffon gowns in wonderful colors, like deep orange embellished with coral; golden yellow accented in buttercup; and vibrant raspberry tinted with blush pink. The trend now is bold floral hues instead of the predictable pastel tones, allowing your attendants to pop with color!

Your Menu. Start with a garden salad that looks and tastes like a burst of springtime, and garnish with colorful pansies. Choose a light entree, like halibut encrusted with Parmesan cheese served with spring vegetables, or a poultry dish served with a bundle of greens and drizzled with a raspberry vinaigrette.

Your Design. The first explosions of flowering branches - yellow forsythia and cherry blossom - always make me smile. Flowering dogwood, quince, apple and pear branches all create drama or a romantic garden feeling. Hyacinths, daffodils, tulips, irises, peonies, ranunculus and sweetpeas are wonderful choices too. Have each bridesmaid carry a single flower - an orange tulip, a coral ranunculus, a yellow daffodil - to create a living painting of an array of garden blooms. And the bride's bouquet? A collection of every flower from her garden of bridesmaids - but all in white.

Your Cake. Consider a fondant-covered confection with blooms to match the flowering branches on your tables. Or how about tiny fondant baskets filled with sugar flowers that are served to guests just as you and your husband cut the wedding cake? Then everyone shares that moment - and feels as if they, too, can stop and smell the flowers.

     For all my girls planning their wedding day, or just dreaming of their special day, remember that life is a gift, and that taking a few moments every day to stop, sniff and breathe can make you appreciate how very sweet it is!

Say No To Photo Mistakes

Taken from Brides September 2010


Brides were recently polled to find out what photo pitfalls plagued them the most. Here are some tips to help you prevent the same problems.

Problem: Even with a shot list, the photographer didn't take a single photo of the bride's beloved Nana.
Prevention: Assign a good pal or bridesmaid who knows your family members to work with the photographer on the wedding day, shot list in hand, pointing out the key people and rounding them up for photos.

Problem: The "getting ready" Photos in the bride's bedroom appeared on the shooter's blog.
Prevention: Read the contract's fine print before signing. While the photographer most likely owns the copyright to your photos, make sure he doesn't have the right to publish, post, or share them without your okay.

Problem: The photo session went on so long, the bride and groom ended up missing half the reception.
Prevention: Work out a schedule for posed shots, the bulk of which should be taken before the ceremony. Bonus: Your hair and makeup will look extra-fresh!

Problem: The photographer missed some major moments, like the best man's toast and the first dance.
Prevention: Before you book anyone, ask to see examples of entire weddings he's shot, from arrival at the bride's house to reception's end. Just seeing selected pix from many events - similar to a highlight reel - won't give you a sense of how thorough he is.

Problem: The photographer's "creative" poses - the groom giving a piggyback ride to the bride or pretending to throw her into the pool - made the couple feel silly and look ridiculous.
Prevention: Hire a pro whose personality, artistic style and sample books you like. Also, before signing a contract, ask for referrals (couples whose wedding he recently photographed), and specifically ask them what he's like to work with. Go over a shot list (whom and what you want captured) with the photographer a few weeks before the wedding.

Problem: The photographer had another guy sub for him - and the album looked as if the ring bearer shot it.
Prevention: When you book through a studio that has multiple photographers, make sure your contract stipulates that the lensman you're hiring is the same one whose portfolio you loved, not the less-experienced apprentice you've never met.

5 Must-Shoot Moments:

• When dad sees you in your dress for the first time.
• The groom's reaction as he watches you walking down the aisle toward him.
• Kids being kids: dancing freestyle, sleeping on chairs, hiding under tables. 
• The two of you moments after the ceremony, exuding pure happiness.
• The little details - flowers, place cards, programs, favors, table settings - that define the wedding and make it all yours.

Additional link to help you find the perfect photographer.

http://www.pictage.com/planning-guides/one-of-the-most-important-factors-in-choosing-your-wedding-photographer/

What's Hot in 2011...Fabulous Food

Taken from Bridal Guide January/February 2011


     It's all about going local. According to Elizabeth Claire of WhoaNelly! Catering, "More people are getting excited and educated about food, and they're proud to say to guests that the food the serve is fresh from local markets." The right food at the right season is a must. In winter, Elizabeth loves braised short ribs and braised leeks. In spring, she'll pair a vegetable ragu with asparagus, and English peas with gorgeous spring lamb. Summer is the time to embrace grilling, or to select fish to pair with the fabulous veggies available. and fall is harvest time: perfect for roast pork with apple compote.
     Try a twist on a market menu. "I do a farmer's market-style cocktail party," says Sasha, "where guests can graze on the local, seasonal and fresh ingredients of the area."
     2011 will get whimsical with hors d'oeuvres. WhoaNelly! likes to offer shot glasses of Bloody Marys, with a grilled shrimp and cucumber wedge balanced on the side. "You can dip the shrimp into the Bloody Mary." Another adorable idea is mini bagel chips stacked with house-smoked salmon and mascarpone.
     Go retro with your late-night treats. "We're doing mojito push-up pops," says Olivier Cheng of Olivier Cheng Catering and Events. "When it comes to dessert you can have a little more fun with your choices."
     Sweets get sophisticated. While Mason jars of skittles and M&Ms are over, Elizabeth loves the idea of tray-passing handmade chocolates, such as caramels dipped in chocolate and sea salt, chocolate berry truffles, fudge dusted with sugar crystals or even mini chocolate bars from local candy companies. "It's a nice surprise, and such a sweet way to finish the night."

So What's Out This Year? "I'm over the whole cooking station thing," Elizabeth says. "You have people wandering around and balancing dishes, and there's no time spent at the table together to get acquainted or to catch up." Guests can't pay attention to the food, either, when they aren't seated. "And that defeats the whole purpose of a fabulous menu!" she notes. Olivier's pick for the trend that's had it's day is the over-the-top caviar bar. "People want luxury, but nothing so showy," he explains.

What's Hot in 2011 - Drink Up!

Taken from Bridal Guide January/February 2011

     The latest cocktail? The pisco sour. "It hit first in San Francisco and it's been catching on all over the place," says Elizabeth Claire of WhoaNelly! Catering in Los Angeles. This year's pick for wine? Rose, says Olivier Cheng of Olivier Cheng Catering and Events in New York City.
     Clink glasses in style with champagne saucers rather than flutes. "They're really cute," Tara says. "You can even do a pyramid of them - that old-school look is so back."
     If you like straight-up, you're in luck. Small-batch distilleries are going to be huge. "Say the couple is from Texas, you could do a tasting of small-batch vodkas from Tito's or Dripping Springs," says Tara. "Or you could do a bourbon-versus-scotch tasting. Or just pick one small-batch liquor that's really special to the couple."

Definite dont's? According to Tara: "Don't arrange platters of food on top of the bar as in a buffet. And don't have red plastic straws at the bar - they're small, but they will ruin your color scheme! Clear acrylic stirrers are so much better." Olivier has his own take on what's out. "Martini bars at weddings are definitely done and finished.

What's Hot in 2011 - How Inviting

Taken from Bridal Guide January/February 2011

In or out? Melinda Morris of Lion in the Sun, a Brooklyn, NY, paperie, has the lowdown on invitations.

• Out! Big ribbons or bows. Poufy invites have had their day.
• In! Luxurious textured papers, such as ultra-thick cotton sheets, natural rice or bamboo papers, and anything with a deckled edge. the paper surprise of the year? Wood veneers mounted on paper for the ultimate rustic look.
• Out! Magnets. They're clichéd and they're expensive.
• In! Calligraphy, and not just for the envelope. Invitations will be hand-lettered, and even slightly splattered. Invitations should look personal, almost as if you took the time to write each one yourself. 
• Out! Satin and silk moray. Instead, envelopes, the back of your invites and even bellybands get a pop of pattern. Choose two different patterns and mix them up: dotted swiss and plaid, anyone?
• In! Letterpress and laser printing. The bold color you can get from offset printing is still strong, but thermography - while always a staple - won't be used much this year.

Personalize! Melinda's pick for the top look in invitations for 2011 are hand-drawn illustrations and watercolors. Whether it's a constellation of small images that tell the story of how you met or one gorgeous illustration that captures the feeling of your day, the most coveted invitations will feature artwork created just for you. One of Melinda's favorites is an image of an elephant walking across the Brooklyn Bridge - created especially for the wedding of an Indian bride.

What's Hot in 2011 - Love In Bloom

Taken from Bridal Guide January/February 2011

     This years favorite flowers? Peonies and anemones. "And in spring, it's cherry blossoms," says florist Sarah Brysk Cohen.
     The trend toward the traditional is in full bloom. "People really want a vintage look," says Sarah. "A lot of people are thinking about a Victorian feel, very personal and bespoke."
      One way to get that classic look? Gorgeous vessels that harken back to the past; milk glass and jadite are popular. "I'm also doing vintage tin vessels," says Sarah, "like Chinese tea tins or vintage tobacco tins. And sometimes wood crates or boxes."
     Everything old is new. Sarah's using baby's breath and carnations - 'flowers my brides used to say "Oh, that's my grandmother's!' " - in new and modern ways. Carnations can be clustered to look like fluttery hydrangea, and baby's breath adds a dreamy look to centerpieces and bouquets.
     Succulents are peeking out from centerpieces. "I've been using them to provide texture and muted color," Sarah says. "We do silver, gray and muted green to go with stylish muted palettes. Conceptually, it's a mismatch to put a traditional flower with nontraditional flowers, but it works."
     Want to try vintage with a twist? Sarah picks terrariums as the alternative centerpiece of choice. "It's a bell jar or an apothecary jar with moss, maidenhair fern and maybe succulents. There may be a little scene inside, like a miniature dollhouse."

What's Hot in 2011 - Dazzling Decor

Taken from Bridal Guide January/February 2011

     The look of the year? Vintage. "I'm so excited that the traditional wedding is coming back," says Tara Guerard, or Soiree in Charleston and New York. "It's whites and champagnes, grays, golds and maybe a pop of lavender - muted colors that are classic and timeless."
     Capture vintage glamour with cut-crystal chandeliers. "Chandeliers are going to be the look," predicts New York City-based Bentley Meeker, the lighting designer behind Chelsea Clinton's wedding.
     The easiest way to get the vintage look? Wallpaper, says California planner Sasha Souza of Sasha Souza Events. Not only is it relatively inexpensive, but you can use a gorgeous vintage print and still get a modern feel.
     The something new is something blue. Tara says, "Navy popped on white is such a tailored look. I just did a wedding in lavender, robin's egg and Carolina blue.
     Table numbers are out, says Melinda Morris of Lion in the Sun, a paperie in Brooklyn, NY. Her brides are asking for table illustrations. Escort cards are printed with guest names and a small image, which guests match to images on the tables inspired by the couple's story. "It's uber personal - this is the story of our day and how we got here," Melinda says.
     Get a stunner of a bar. Tara says, "I like to do something like an old bar from the fifties with glassware stacked behind it. I even like to have stools at the bar."
     This year's wow factor? Bentley's pick is video scenes. "Imagine a big white wall nicely lit up. Then it turns into a beach with rippling water, then a beautiful sunset, then a starry night sky. You can create a whole video and turn the room into whatever you like. And it's gorgeous!"
     Nineteen-fifties and fabulous. "The look is tailored, with a clean line. It's from the fifties - so feminine." Tara says. "I'm excited about it because I'm Southern."
     From the invites to the menus to statement splashes on the dance floor, brides are branding their day with a custom-designed wedding emblem. "One bride chose a lino's head in cobalt blue and gold," says Tara. But does that mean monograms are out? "Monograms will always be in," she says. "But now the  monogram is nestled into a wedding emblem.

Finesse the Guest List

From Bridal Guide January/February 2011

Here's how to get a handle on some common dilemmas.

Compiling a guest list seems daunting. Where do I start?
First, think about the style of wedding you envision. "Ask yourself: 'Do I want a 300-person bash, an intimate dinner or a destination wedding?" suggests Christine Paul of Christine Paul Events in new York City. Or, if you're considering a particular venue, figure out how many guests you can comfortably accommodate. Start your list with close friends and family, then add until you've reached the ideal number for the space you've booked.

My parents would like to ask some people. Do I have a say over their choices?
Sure you do. But first give them a number to aim for. Paul suggests allotting 25% of the guest list to the bride's parents, 25% to the groom's parents and 50% to the couple themselves. this keeps parents from taking over - after all, it's your wedding. You definitely can question some of their choices, too. "Have an intelligent conversation with your parents about it," says Sherri Williams of Williams-Sossen Events, which has locations in Philadelphia and New York City. But if the 'rents are paying for the wedding, try to be as tolerant as possible.

My list is too long! How do I make cuts?
"Take a look at the friends you're inviting," says Williams. "How important are they to you?" Another tip: "Try dividing the list into the people you can't imagine not having and those who could decline and you wouldn't mind," says Paul. also, look for groups of people you can eliminate: The pals from your yoga class probably won't be offended if they're not invited. Consider taking children off the list, too. You may decide to have an "A-list" of people who'll get invitations right away and a "B-list" of those who are invited as other decline. Be sure to ask A-listers to RSVP well in advance so B-listers don't feel they're last minute invites.

I'm including a lot of single friends, and I'll go over budget if I let them all bring dates. How do I decide who gets to bring a guest?
"You never have to invite your single friends with dates," says Paul. "But it's always nice." Consider having all your single friends come dateless - they can socialize together. If you have room for a few extras, evaluate each situation. Are some in ongoing relationships? Then it makes sense to invite the partner. Or, if all your work friends are married except for one, she may feel more comfortable if she's able to bring a date.

Is it appropriate to invite an ex? My ex and I have become friendly and I don't know what I should do.
If you feel at all uncertain, don't. Your wedding day should be about you and your fiance. "It's only appropriate to invite an ex if you and your fiance agree it's okay, and you decide together where he should sit," says Williams. If you and your ex have children, having him at the wedding could be confusing to the kids.

A few guests haven't replied to my RSVP date. What should I do?
Have a friend or family member call or e-mail them to find out if they're attending. "Never assume they're not coming." says Williams. Guests often just forget to pop the response card in the mail, and you don't want to be surprised when the show up on the big day.

Many DIY wedding websites have tools that let you create a guest list online, or upload a list onto the site. If you're not taking your wedding to the Internet, you can purchase a program with similar guest-list functions that will allow you to merge multiple lists, record gifts and more. We like Excel best because it's easy to sort the list, store info (like the number of guests per party) and print up addresses for your calligrapher. Plus, you can update and use this list in the future for holiday cards and more.