"Here Come The Bridesmaids"

   Taken from "Bridal Guide" May/June 2012

   When you select your bridesmaids - whether one or a dozen - you are choosing people you truly care about, who share a deep connection with you. And just as your bridesmaids have specific wedding responsibilites, you my dear bride, have a responsibility to your girls.

Choose Wisely
   Now is not the time to make any bridal party decisions you may regret. If you are choosing between someone you knew in college and a new sibling-in-law, remember that a party of your new life as a spouse-to-be is to put family first - including his. Your friends may not be there forever, but your sister-in-law will be. So if you are pressured to choose a family member (even if you would rather not), bend. You will thank me later when she's not give you the look over Thanksgiving dinner table, still upset that you did not give her the honor of wearing the lavender dress or ask her to fluff your train. That is your first priority is your new family is something everyone will totally understand.

Be Upfront
   Once you've decided on your bridal party, ask each potential 'maid individually. Ask with kindness and respect. This will set the tone for the wedding planning to come, and serve as a preview to how the experience will play out for all of you. Clearly lay out the groundwork as you see it. A bridesmaid can't just show up one day and be in the wedding! Have all your information in place, so there will be no uncomfortable moments as the months unfold. Are you, my bride, paying for the bridemaids' attire? If not, what will your bridesmaids be expected to lay out for the fabulous dresses you have your eye on? What about hair and makeup services on the big day? If you're thinking about a bridal shower and/or bachelorette party, who in the party will be taking the lead in handling all the details and logistics - and what are the financial expectations?

Be Nice
   My grandmother always said, "Treat others the way you would like to be treated," - and that is precisely what you, dear bride, should be doing for your bridesmaids. Get off to a good start with a fun and festive dinner or spa get-together. Bridesmaids' gifts are always appreciated, especially when they are unique to each girl. Include your 'maids in planning details, but let them breathe. Okay, so maybe the tasting you just had wasn't quite up to snuff, or the flowers you had your heart set on are out of season. Go ahead and vent to your bridesmaids for a moment, then move on. They are members of your bridal party, and while they are a support system, they are not your indentured servants!

Universal Truths
   It should go without saying that you should look for bridesmaids dresses that flatter all body types, as opposed to look more at home on a runway. Take individual style into account, rather than insisting on a cookie-cutter approach to hair and makeup come wedding day. Finally, always remember that your girls are giving up a significant amount of time to be in your bridal party. So make it count in the best way possible.

New Bridal Trends

   This season's bridal gowns are reflecting new looks that one fashion writer termed "More Kate and less Kim". Many gowns are reflecting more traditional looks and a bit of classic charm.
   Gowns are showing more coverage. Not necessarily Kate Middleton's long sleeves, but cap sleeves are being shown along with illusion necklines for those brides who want more coverage than strapless gowns provide.
   Longer veils are back in vogue after being absent for a period. In a survey of brides 75% reported they plan to wear a veil with preferences for floor length or longer.
   Many brides are selecting plainer gowns with less "bling" and focusing on fabulous accessories like jewelry and expensive shoes. More and more brides are choosing colored shoes with blue and popular choice.
   Some brides are including "costume changes" in their selection of the wedding gown. One gown is chosen for the formal ceremony and either adaptations are made in that gown for the reception and dance or a second and more informal gown is worn for the reception.    We are also seeing bridesmaids in white thanks to Pippa. All white weddings have been appearing in areas, but more brides are choosing the mono theme for spring and summer.
   Brides continue to create a personalized wedding with signature color(s), monogrammed items, and motifs to set and reinforce the theme of the event.
   What is your view of your ideal wedding gown?

Some Planning Tips

   As one wedding planner put it, "Just because you have planned something, doesn't mean it is going to happen." Here are some tips from professional planners to help insure that everything works well at your wedding.

• Getting Ready. Of course you want to look your best on this big day. You may have booked a hair stylist for yourself and your bridesmaids. Maybe someone is doing makeup for all. In order for everything to flow, treat this as a salon appointment and require everyone to be on time for the appointments. Work with the stylists to establish a sensible timeline and insist that your wedding party be on time. A lot goes on before you walk down the aisle, and you don't need to add undue stress to the list.
• Photographs. Every couple wants the album of perfect pictures from the wedding. Check out several photographers and insist on seeing their work. Some specialize in formal shorts and others are masters of creative vignettes. Some do both. Make sure that everything goes smoothly by giving the photographer a list of the people you want to make sure tare included in your wedding album. Appoint a friend to run interference for the photographer and make sure that each of those persons is available for photos. The photographer should spend his/her time shooting pictures, not searching out the people you want in the photos.
• If you are planning a cocktail reception, make sure that the caterer has wait staff ready with trays of cocktails as the guests enter. For the first five to ten minutes staff should focus on getting beverages into guest's hands. Once that has been done, then they can start passing canapes. Stress the importance of this to the caterer. You don't want lines at the bar if you are having an open bar. Appoint someone as host/hostess at your reception and introduce them to the caterer before your event. They  an make sure that guest's are not standing in lines waiting.
• Order of Service. Think of your guests. If you have elderly relatives, make sure that they are served first. Unless you feel strongly about it, consider having the head table served last. That gives the couple a chance to chat with guests and socialize.
• Be aware of "down time". Weddings can lose energy after the food course. Guests are at different points in the meal. This can be a good time to introduce one or two toasts. But have the best man announce that toasts need to be kept to a minimum of 3 - 5 minutes.

   For many other helpful ideas to keep your party flowing nicely, stop in and talk with one of our experienced consultants.

Contemporary Traditional

   Do those two terms seem contradictory? At one time they may have, but more and more couples are looking for ways to place their personal stamp on their wedding plans. The term "unique" is heard more and more as brides search for ways to make their weddings memorable for them and their guests.
   Our consultants have lots of ideas on how to do just that, so do stop in to chat with them about ways to personalize your wedding ceremony and reception.

• Consider replacing the traditional bachelor or bachelorette party with a get together that combines both events. Consider a hike, beach party, bike ride, cook-out, softball game or evening out at a skating rink or bowling alley.
• Rather than hold the rehearsal dinner at a typical restaurant's party room, book an art museum, a university facility, a park or a historical building to serve as a special setting for your event.
• Supplement your florist's handiwork and create reception decor with native wild flowers, leaves, twigs, fruits and herbs from a local grower or farmer's market.
• Some brides have decided to let their bridesmaids select their own gowns based on a color scheme and degree of formality. This works well when you admire their taste in clothes. It is wise to set some guidelines - degree of coverage desired, tailored or fluffy, plain or elaborate, length etc. But within those parameters, maids can choose their own wearable outfits. Many bridal salons have several designers who can work to truly individualize a bridesmaid's gown within the "look " of the wedding.
• If you have a unique reception venue chosen, consider hiring a local chef you admire or a culinary school to put a special spin on your reception menu. Think about including family food traditions that may be important to both the bride and groom. If you can't afford a sit down dinner, there is nothing wrong with having a desert reception or a small plate limited cocktail reception and wedding cake.

Photographs and Memories

   On your wedding day you will know how celebrities feel. You will be photographed from every angle and in many settings. You will be the centerpiece of shots from your photographers as well as every family member who has ever clicked a shutter. To make sure that the pictures are perfect and what you want, take time to pre plan their role on your day.
   Consider these questions.

1. How much do you want to spend? Have a figure in mind, as you approach professional photographers. If you want the one with the most impressive portfolio or is considered the best in town, be prepared to pay accordingly. By the same token, don't settle for minimum shots on a low budget if photos and memories are important to you. Consider if you want to split the budget between still shots in an album or video - or both.
2. How do you want to remember your wedding? What is your preferred style of photographic memories? Are you fans of formal portraits and posed pictures or are you fans of more casual and candid shots? Do you want a nice mixture of both? Be sure you talk over these preferences with the photographer you've selected. Most photographers want to know about your shot preferences and will appreciate a list of those "must have" relative shots. More and more families are choosing to have family portraits taken that day since all are present and looking good.
3. Find out if the photographer you have chosen will have an assistant along that day to help attendants assemble for the group shots. It is always helpful to have another eye scanning the group for dress mishaps, dropping boutonnieres, crooked ties or smeared makeup. If you have a personal attendant, he or she might be able to provide that extra eye- providing the photographer knows who she is and there is an agreement on her role.

   Talk with our professional consultants about other creative ideas for capturing the memories that will last a lifetime.

Guest Tips

   Your college roommate is getting married in June. Your cousin is getting married in July. A co-worker is planning an August wedding. While the bridal couple may be knee deep in planning, guests have a role to play in helping the couple have a wonderful wedding. Guests are invited to provide public witness to the legal ceremony taking place and to help the newly wedded celebrate the importance of the steps they have taken. Marriage is a public statement indicating the new legal status of the couple.
   While there aren't many "rules" about what it means to be a wedding guest, there are some time honored expectations and one question - what should I wear to the wedding - is real. While our culture may seem more casual than in decades past, this is still an important event that one honors by dressing appropriately. Check the web page of the couple for clues to how formal the wedding is likely to be. Ask members of the bridal party if you know them. Here are some guidelines to help you decide.

• Don't dress to stand out. Remember that the bride and groom are the stars of this production.
• Men should wear a tie (unless the wedding is at a beach somewhere).
• When in doubt, it is usually better to overdress rather than under dress.
• Avoid any low cut, tight and/or skimpy dress. Watch the sequins and the glitter.
• A black cocktail dress is OK, while white can be iffy. If one does choose white, it is necessary to make sure that it looks nothing like a wedding gown. Creamy white and simple style that is totally different from the gown is better.
• If the wedding is to be "informal" nailing down appropriate apparel can be touch. Ask around to get a feeling of what other guests are planning. Take a cue from where the ceremony is being held. If it is in a large cathedral that will tell you one thing. If it is in a party room at a horse ranch, you know that informal means something else. If you get no clue from the ceremony location, try the reception spot next. A country club cocktail reception will mean something quite different than a reception where beach volleyball will be the main entertainment.
• If the wedding is semi formal, it means that men should wear a suit and tie. At one time dark suits were indicated, but that is relaxed now and tan or khaki suits are OK. Women should wear a suit, a tailored dress or pant suit. She could add some "bling" but don't overdo it.
• If a wedding is clearly a formal affair, men should wear tuxedos and women should wear cocktail dresses - long or short.

   Whatever level of dress a guest decides upon, the other item to include is one's best manners. This is an important day in life of a couple and one honors them by behaving well. Wearing one's best behavior is always in style.

Using Technology

   Brides Who are used to communicating with electronic "tools" may be tempted to "do it all" with technology when they think of wedding planning. We caution our brides to take a careful look at the world of Eplanning. There simply are times when the bride needs to leave the keyboard or apps and do some of her planning face to face.
   The Internet will be a help in searching out reception sites that may fit one's budget, but a bride simply must check it out in person. She may be able to hear music played by a band she is considering, but nothing beats meeting the group in person.
   Cake makers can show photographs of some of their creations on line, but until you've tasted the actual product, how can you decide?
   Ordering your wedding gown or bridesmaid's dresses on line is also a bad idea. Sizing and quality can vary widely so you and your maids should try on your gown choices before making a purchase. to assure that gowns will be in on time, don't risk ordering from an online resource. Shop a reputable store that stands behind its merchandise.
   Before registering online for wedding gifts, we recommend that you meet with an expert sales associate at a major retailer. They have years of experience helping couples select registry items.
   Brides may be tempted to send "virtual invitations", but once again we caution brides against that. Use the Internet to enter pertinent information about your wedding but plan to send printed invitations. As one bride put it, "I may be old fashioned, but there is a touch of class I want associated with my wedding and an electronic invitation doesn't cut it."
   We advise our brides to be careful about disclosing information about their weddings on the social networks. Here we feel that "less is more". Certainly share the joy of the upcoming wedding but don't constantly post updates on the status of your plans. Don't go overboard posting photos. A select few are a nice touch. Too many will leave a bad impression.
   By all means use the Internet as an information resource to get ideas and lists of vendors to visit. But make the key decisions in person with family input as appropriate.